therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize