i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
