To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
