remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
