Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize