ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
