My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
