Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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