the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
