i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
