thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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