Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
