So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
