bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
