I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
worst night to have a conscience
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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