i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
