Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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