Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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