There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
