His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
