drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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