Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
tell me about the eggs
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
