She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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