so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
ttyl tear gas
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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