My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
