She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
