C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We got so high we made milksteak
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
