I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
