Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
