i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
