Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I need to stop coming to work sober
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
