Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
