Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
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