I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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