So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
