Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
