apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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