At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
