i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
That was an excessively violent trivia night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
