so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
