What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
