I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
