she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
