Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
