lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
