So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
