Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
