then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
