He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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