somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think my nap took me to another dimension
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize