About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
