i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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