no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
