What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
