yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
