How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
