She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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