the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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