found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
