Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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