Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
