Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i need some magic done to my vagina
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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