Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
