the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
