are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
