I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
