I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
