Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize