Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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