I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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