Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize