Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
