We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
