I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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