you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
