One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
