How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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